S1 E2 – Know your limits

Striving For More

It’s in our nature…
To strive for more. But what is we are trying to prove?

Autopilot

• When we are tired, we grab a cup of coffee.
• When we have a headache, we take a pill.
• When we are in a rush we make convenient decisions.
• When we push ourselves to the edge we call it ambition.

“I thought pushing harder would get me closer to success. But in reality, it was only pulling me further away from myself.” - Hunter s Thomson

Unconscious Pursuit

I realized I was using hard work as an escape, running from things I didn't know I was running from. At a pace that was unsustainable and in a direction that was less than optimal. To get as far away as possible from the thing that scared me the most.

I keep having the same nightmare. I’m surrounded by the people closest to me. In my own home. But it’s like I’m invisible. I’m just there like a ghost. A burden. It’s like they are allowing me to be there but they don’t want me there. And … then that feeling of not being enough hits me like a truck and I wake up.

“Behind my drive to become the best version of myself is a kid who never felt like he belonged” - Johan Andersson 

 

Unstable Fuel

It’s tricky. On one hand, my drive to constantly prove myself has led me to where I am today. But on the other hand, it came with a cost.

When you keep raising the bar. Put unreasonably high expectations on yourselves. Nothing you do ever feels good enough. Rest needs to be earned. Slowing down is not even an option, and achieving becomes a part of your identity.

On top of that, your family is proud of you, your girlfriend thinks you're a baller, you bought your dream bike and for the first time on your life you feel… Enough? Seen? Like you belong? Like you've “made it”? Heh…

Even writing this now makes me think, how on earth is one going to slow down that train before it derails?

A dangerous cocktail. 

“There is no coming to consciousness without pain.” - Carl Jung

 

Redefine Strength

Since when did trying to win a race we did not choose to participate in become admirable?

And how is pushing yourself beyond your limits seen as strength?

“Strength isn’t how far you can push yourself. It’s having the courage to travel in your own pace, in your own direction and slowing down whenever you feel like it.” - Johan Andersson

Some races are won by not participating. And if you don't pick a day to rest, your body is going to pick one for you.

Wouldn’t it be more badass:

- To protect your time and energy like It’s sacred.
- To walk away because you're not having it.
- To say no because you're not feeling it.
- To ask for backup when you need it.
- To rest without guilt.

To know from the depth of your very being that you have absolutely nothing to prove because you know exactly what you are capable of.

You are probably the kind of person that always does his best. Who lifts up others. Who cares deeply. Who does everything wholeheartedly and refuses to quit.

You also have a perfect track record of overcoming every challenge you have ever faced.

I thinks It’s time that you start giving yourself some credit for that.

BUT as a former people pleasing overachiever I know that this is going to take work.

Treating the problem is one thing, breaking the patterns is something completely different.

 

Stay On Track

I have a tool for that. A kind of all-in-one manifest, habit tracker, calendar, and to-do list. That helps me stay on track. I created it when I was transitioning from burn out project manager to full-time creator.

You write down you priorities, You identify your most important tasks, You allocate time for them and track your progress.

The rest of the features gives you a clear overview of the week and allows me stay on the grind without loosing myself. Pretty awesome if you ask me.

I you feel like you need more structure and clarity in your life — or maybe some intensity to finish this year strong, if you want to know more about how I use the Stay On Track system I wrote an article about it, linked here: The Stay On Track™ System

 

The Real World Test

I’m off to a press weekend with BMW.

This is probably my biggest challenge since my realignment (burnout).

Honestly, I’m a bit nervous, but it’s a really good opportunity for me, both professionally of course but also personally.

How far have I come?

I obviously want to make the most of it, prove myself — but this time without pushing past my limits, with has been a problem in the past.

So after checking in

BMW told me to:

”Just do your thing”

Which is flattering of course.

Could also be an overachievers worst nightmare. There is no limit on how much I can do here. No deliverables. I have to draw that line. And it strikes me that the only pressure I feel is literally self-imposed.

I most be honest with you. Walking in to the lobby, surrounded by experienced riders, journalists and BMW staff from all over Scandinavia. The R12 waiting for me in the lobby…. Made me shrink a bit at first. The voice from my nightmares was back…

Do I really deserve to be here? Will I be enough?

The same ghost from my nightmares — haunting me. 

But he didn’t scare me anymore. He just reminded me where I came from.