S1 E4 - Life is not a race

It’s an increasing problem that we feel stressed, overwhelmed, and affected by everything that is going on.

Life is not a race.

And it’s not as easy as saying “don’t compare yourself to others” or “focus on what you can control.”

Go to school.
Get a job.
Get married.
Buy a house.
Have kids.

Life is not a checklist. But it sure feels like it sometimes.

Not hitting those milestones when we are expected to can feel overwhelming.

Rushing things isn’t the answer. But we can’t walk around stressed over an imaginary timeline either.

So what do you do when that pressure comes tumbling down on you?

Life is not a race

Your struggles are real, and you are definitely not alone. But the idea that you are behind assumes that life is a race, and that is simply not true.

A race for what exactly?

The moment we start comparing our lives to someone else’s, we risk getting sidetracked.

And if we try to live up to someone else’s expectations, is it really that strange that we don’t feel happy with where we are?

If we try to solve those feelings by getting or doing more, we will always feel behind.

Because if you are not careful, more also means not enough.

We risk banging our heads against the same wall over and over again, and it’s not the wall I’m worried about in that scenario.

So no, the problem isn’t that you are behind. There is something else missing.

The missing piece 

Three years ago, I made one of the hardest decisions of my life.

I found myself at a crossroads.

To the right, buy a house, get married, and have kids.
To the left, leave everything that felt safe and familiar.

From the outside, I looked successful, maybe even ahead.

A nice apartment, a stable job, a long term relationship, three motorcycles in the garage.

But it didn’t feel like it.

It felt like I was expected to go down a path I didn’t choose.

And I was chasing more in an unsustainable way to cope with the lack of fulfillment and self esteem.

Autopilot.

If you are successful at something you didn’t choose, are you even successful?

I felt pressured to take the next step and hold everything together.

For a while, I think I tried to make everyone happy, except myself.

Life will keep teaching you the same lessons until you learn.

Eventually, my eight year relationship came to an end, and I left the industry I had worked in my entire life.

To find what was missing.

To carve my own path.

Discover your journey

So if life is not a checklist,

and there is no race,

how do you know if you are on the right path?

A mythologist named :contentReference[oaicite:0]{index=0} noticed something interesting.

Building a life toward freedom often follows a common pattern.

He called it the Hero’s Journey.

Once you start looking at your life through that lens, things begin to make more sense.

I noticed that my journey followed a similar pattern.

I simplified it into seven stages.

Stage 1, The Ordinary Path

Life as we know it. Normal and predictable. Following the checklist. Hitting the milestones. Participating in the race.

Everything looks fine from the outside, but it often leads to a feeling that something is missing, or that you are falling behind.

Stage 2, A Call to Adventure

What if I explored creative entrepreneurship as a career?

This is where life starts to challenge you.

That feeling that something is missing grows stronger. You begin to long for something different.

Maybe a new opportunity appears. Maybe something you have been putting off starts calling you.

Stage 3, Hesitation

At first, we ignore it. The unknown is terrifying.

“I could never do that.”
“That’s not for people like me.”
“It’s not realistic.”

Even if our current situation is holding us back, we choose the familiar over the unfamiliar.

We are wired for safety.

But remaining the same also goes against our nature.

The tension between safety and growth becomes harder to live with.

Many people get stuck here.

But the feeling doesn’t go away. It only grows stronger.

My biggest fear was regret.

My only regret now is that I didn’t act sooner, and that I can live with.

Stage 4, Taking the Leap

“Change happens when the pain of staying the same becomes greater than the fear of change.”

Something pushes you over the edge.

A breakup, a burnout, losing your job, illness, or simply being fed up.

In my case, it was all of it.

Things become harder to hold together, and eventually something breaks.

Make sure it isn’t you.

This is often called rock bottom.

It may feel like your life is falling apart.

But what if it is falling into place?

Stage 5, Carving Your Own Path

This is where the real journey begins.

It can feel like a setback at first.

You might quit your job, leave a relationship, slow down, question everything, and start over.

But you are not starting from scratch. You are starting from experience.

The struggle becomes meaningful.

You learn to navigate fear, uncertainty, pressure, loneliness, and failure.

From the outside, it may look like you are falling behind.

But most of the growth happens internally.

Life feels meaningful again.

Stage 6, Becoming the Main Character

Pressure creates growth.

You become the person capable of handling what you once feared.

You stop worrying about being ahead or behind.

Your perspective expands beyond that.

Stage 7, Sharing the Journey

This is where you realize the journey itself is the reward.

But only when the path is truly yours.

You now have lived experience that cannot be taught.

You no longer try to prove yourself.

You express yourself.

You create, share, and build something meaningful.

As :contentReference[oaicite:1]{index=1} said, “The hero returns with the power to help others.”

Answer the call

When you focus on your own journey, life becomes easier to navigate.

Comparing yourself to others becomes irrelevant.

Because if you don’t define success for yourself, you will end up chasing someone else’s version of it.

The question is not whether you are ahead or behind.

The question is, where are you in your journey?

If you feel behind, maybe something is calling you.

Maybe you already know what you want, but you are hesitating.

I feel like I am somewhere between growth and doubt.

But I have learned that the answers often lie in what we avoid.

It’s not about escaping.

It’s about integrating.

How do you feel?

What is that feeling trying to tell you?

Can you act on it?

Adventure is probably already calling.

All you have to do is answer.

Thanks for reading.

I’ve put together a free navigation sheet with key takeaways from this piece. Along with questions designed to give you clarity on your journey.

Link here: Navigation Sheet

/Johan